Selling Kenyan youths down the river, after mortgaging their future

Let me state upfront that my absence from this page has nothing to with the on-going lecturers’ strike. By the way, is the teachers strike in any way connected with the students? It’s so hard to keep track of these things…

It seems to me almost everyone is on strike in this country; even Deputy Prezzo Rigathi Gachagua aka Riggy G is on a go-slow. He was a no-show last Sunday when Prezzo Bill Ruto called at a church in his backyard. And Riggy G being Riggy G, I guess he sent word so late even the seat reserved for him remained on the dais, evoking Brechtian theatre.

I digress, but the sort of sarakasi we have been subjected to in recent days is proper theatre of the absurd. I just wanted to confirm, however, my absence from this forum had nothing to do with industrial action by academics or students’ unrest; I have just been hustling like the rest of Kenyans.

In these sojourns, I passed through Karatina, Riggy G’s bastion, to assess “what the ground is saying,” following weeks of murmurs that he was about to be impeached. But there were too many distractions, including pretty women who strutted on the road like a pageant. It’s hard to believe the transformation of this farmers’ backwater.

During my tour, Riggy G was nowhere to be seen, but I heard Prezzo Bill Ruto was in town looking for him. I also heard what Prezzo Ruto said in Germany, that he had landed some 250,000 jobs for Kenyan youths.

Before his words dried on his lips—I am trying to be gentle and avoid the slur that Gen-Z protesters hurled online, “when he’s not flying, he’s lying” Prezzo’s German hosts said his claim was “clearly false.”

Well, if someone called me a liar when I am still within earshot, I’d definitely defend my word, if it’s founded in truth. But when it’s not, then that would present some difficulty, as it was manifestly clear for Prezzo’s aides.

It didn’t help matters either that Prezzo’s pronouncement coincided with the rounding up of individuals who have scammed desperate youths under the guise of securing them jobs abroad.

Of course, Prezzo Ruto did not solicit a dime from Kenyans seeking jobs abroad, and any claim linking him to such networks should be dismissed with the contempt that it deserves. Still, there is the lingering and logical question of why Prezzo Ruto is so determined to dispatch skilled youths to take up menial jobs in Europe. The proper job description, as offered by my friend Bonnie Mwangi, is too graphic to relay in a family paper.

Put simply, why would Prezzo Ruto be keen on shipping our young citizens to Europe, instead of creating opportunities for them to build their own land? The answer is that the youths are being sold down the river, to use the analogy in slave narratives, because we have mortgaged their future.

Some question if the German mission was another hoax, since the promised 250,000 evaporated in thin air soon after they had been invented. I have a different assessment, though. Indeed, Prezzo Ruto’s German mission was a resounding success, as he signed deals to fast-track Kenyans who are due for deportation. So, we’re welcoming our compatriots back home.

It is the dream of every citizen, I believe, to return to their land of birth. The German trip also disproved Gen-Z’s presidential insult. He did fly and lie at the same time.